I turn 30 tomorrow and what better way to end my 20’s than write about how life has been so far, what it has taught me and what lies ahead on the last day of being a 29 year old.
I still remember turning 20, I was ecstatic! All the World was my stage and I was handling the trap door. Almost out of college, finding my voice and sense of being me. Ah! That kid still remains but with a few lessons under my belt.
My twenties like many other peoples twenties were full of changes. Right from finishing two degrees, to starting a professional life, to getting married, to leaving the comfort of home, parents, brother and best friend, to starting a new life with a husband in a new country. Phew! It was PACKED but worth every single moment. I can happily say that I live with no regrets.
Here are some things I learn’t on the way to being this semi-functional human who can now get up on her own in the morning without mumma beating down the door and cook enough to not make the other person hate the thought of food…
Parents are everything: I was never a fussy teenager but I swear to God I was more a handful in my twenties than ever before. I have faltered but my parents have always been there to hold me and nurture me. Now as an “adult” in some sense, I feel every thing my parents must have felt whilst they were my age. This is what growing up does to you, you start relating to your own parents and I love it. Love you Momsie and Pops, every day I wake up feeling blessed.
My brother is my shrink: Growing up Bhai and I were always, well, brotherly. I was the pampered younger one and when he wanted he could be the scary elder brother or the super protective one. He is 4 years older than I am, so it wasn’t ever about just sitting down and chatting away because he had a life of his own and I was the annoying sibling (still am). As we grew up and especially in the last decade, Bhai and I have transitioned into confidants and best buddies. He is also my pseudo father/mother and I can chat to him about ANYTHING without being judged. The biggest learning for me has been that with siblings you nurture the relationship but it always is just there for you to go back to. It’s home. Love you shrinkzy. You are the bestest.
G is my guiding light and my team: Lets be honest, I was never a relationship person before I met G and so the transition into being a partner did not come easy to me. I went by the stereotypical way a husband and wife should be, the kinds the movies portray. Worst mistake. I found myself the most amazing, supportive, saviour with hot chips in his hands whenever I needed then and I was a complete ass. Ha! Honestly, all that shines is not Gold. Biggest learning, no relationship is perfect and anyone who seems that way…is lying. Just saying. It’s going to be 5 years of being married to this boy o’mine and what I’ve learnt in all that time is a simple thing; being married doesn’t always mean being goo-goo eyed or buying expensive things for each other. Marriage is about being with your best friend day in and out, fighting and laughing about the stupidest things. And of course, making a life in between all that while chasing individual dreams together. Thank you for being my rock, my saviour, my mentor, my sane voice, for a witty retort here and there and for just being my guiding light. You make me a happy happy bunny and I love you soooooooo!!!
You do make friends for life: I also lost a big part of me in this decade. Nando’s/Anand/Nandi/Bubz/Psycho/LA/Baby Bear aka Neha Anand, my own little World. I met Anand 14 years ago, little kiddies that we were but I only started being truely close to her the year I turned 21. Life was changing and in all that glorious mess was Neha. When I say I have transitioned into this semi-functional human, she saw it happen closely and was a BIG part of making me this way. The only person who could call out my bullshit and show me the way. My hype-machine. Every single thing that mean’t something to me was hyped by this amazing human I had the opportunity to call my best friend. Many came and went but she remained. She is also my forever valentine, every year I would send her flowers and I don’t plan to stop that anytime soon. Last year, she came home to Sydney and I thank God every single day that she saw my little World outside of the World she and I had created. She left this World in February this year but she will live in my heart forever. She would have turned 30 in two weeks but hey, we will have a dedicated post about her shenanigans. Love you bubzie, you taught me that it is better to love because losing is an eventuality. Always in my heart and mine.
Supportive In-Laws make your World go round: I was luckily enough to get married to Gautam but luckier for having Mom Dad and Bhai as family. Anytime I go wrong, they show me the right way and they shower me with love and blessings I don’t deserve. To have found you Mom and Dad is a blessing I count each day. From learning about their travels around the World to sharing life experiences, it has been a relationship that we have nurtured and a large part of it goes to their acceptance of me as I am. Thank you for being my support system, for being encouraging and so loving. I hope to make you proud. Love you!!!
Good times and bad times don’t last, being a good human does: This is a lifelong learning, to be honest but it you realise it only as you grow older. The peaks and troughs of life are what its composed of. So to expect life to be a smooth run is futile and to weep over it being too tough is also futile. I am still in the process of letting this sink in completely but it is the truest truth of life.
Travel will open your mind: Thanks to my parents we have always travelled a lot within India but as a grown up I travelled for the first time Internationally after I got married to Gautam. Thanks to him, I saw a World very different from my sheltered one and that change my World view. Now, having lived in a “foreign land” for over 3 years, I am definitely a more accepting and perceptive human. Last year, we travelled to Taiwan (best birthday present from G) a country where English is not the hot pick, human connection and acceptance & respect cultivates conversations. This opened my eyes a little more and I loved it! There are so many thoughts in this World and what a beauty to have the ability to witness them unfolding.
Be grateful. I won’t say more, instead I will continue to live it.
Puppers are the best: I lost two of my childhood buddies in this decade. My forever companions and loves. I miss you Sheffy and Junior. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be loved unconditionally without an iota of doubt. You are my hearts.
Everyone adds to your life in some way: I would like to say a big thank you to all the lovely people I ever went to school/college with. You are all amazing and I hope you continue achieving the best of everything in life. Also, thank you to all the amazing humans who I worked professionally with and who became friends for life, thank you for mentoring me, bearing with me and being amazing. Go on, conquer the World. It’s just the one life we all have with each other in it and eventually everyone will come and go, it’s natural. The best thing anyone CAN do is be kind. I hope to be kinder in the coming years and I hope I was kind to everyone I ever spoke to, if not, I am sorry.
Wow, that was a long one, eh?! That’s alright, since its not every day that you turn 30.
Lastly, sonder.
Thank you for all your time, I appreciate anyone and everyone who has ever supported me in my writings. In this past decade I have only become more confidant to come out and write down what I truly feel. Thank you!
Until next time…
Stay tangled,
Manasvi
MANASVI SHARMA BAWA 
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