MANASVI SHARMA BAWA

I believe in a patch of personal wilderness. Of waist-high grass entwined with wildflowers through which I can prance; within which I can lie down and take a moment for my self. How idyllic! …

How often do you find yourself simply sitting without any kind of audio/visual stimulation or rather distraction? Mobile phone in the hand or the television in front of you or even your music plugged into your ears cancelling out the “noise of silence”.
Ever find yourself embracing that noise of silence?
I never did. Without my noticing, I drowned the noise of silence with every bit of noisy things I could find, blaring music, youtube videos on fitness or food and just plain old news. I found myself surrounding myself with something to do as opposed to just sitting with myself.

It all began with some pretty tough news early this year. How did I deal with it? I played videos games with music level on the highest volumes. It was great, it worked because I wanted to drown out every emotion. The pigeon shooting the fruits and veggies was the perfect escape, I played this weird game every free second I had, no time to think. Noisier the better and honestly that pigeon dressed in camo with psychedelic music pumping was just what no doctor has ordered by I had complied. Also, that pigeon with a gun reminded me a lot of a wild wild west movie or America at the moment…I had to.

I digress, what I found disturbing though was my aversion to silence. I never wanted to just sit and listen to my thoughts. They say an empty mind is a devils workshop, but what no one tells you is that a crowded mind is the lubricant for the machines in that workshop. So why was I so afraid of simply sitting and staring at nothing, letting the silence seep in?

Now, I am in no way preaching what I don’t practise. I am no saint who has been enlightened by the ways of this mystic World. I am simply a human trying to figure her way around this thing called life. So, this simple human devised a way of embracing that noise of silence by doing a few things, these things have given me an insight into myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my ability to gauge emotions better and most importantly, time for myself.

1. Meditation: I never thought I would say this but holy moles I find that meditation really helps you. Not going to lie, I was one of the naysayers, I always thought meditation was for the ones looking for enlightenment or ones who had something major going on in life. Lo’ and behold, I was wrong. I have discovered that it’s about taking the time to just be with yourself. You can go for guided meditations or simply do your own thing. At the end, its about being one with yourself with no rules on this.
   
2. Working Out: I have written endlessly about getting fit, I mean ENDLESSLY and every time I wrote about doing things like going on a fitness journey to have abs or simply be fit, I would find myself back on the couch scrolling through Instagram mindlessly liking fitness posts (say aye if you are guilty!). Working out for me has always been secondary and now that I am going to be 30 it was about being thinner cause Aunt Metabolism was slowing down, this in turn meant I hated working out because it was another thing on my list of things to do. Well, I was wrong. Working out (includes any form of moving) is not a chore, its your time to get acquainted with your body and being with yourself. I am new to this “work out for your own good” thing but since I have stopped equating being thin to working out I have found I actually enjoy it and it gives me the calmness of being me every single time!
   
3. Taking a break from Social Media: Did I mention I am a social media marketer by profession? So you can imagine how that works. I caught myself oftentimes just picking up my phone and opening instagram, facebook or even whatsapp scrolling through and then putting it down in the name of “work”. Then again and again and again. Was I really missing something major? No. This FOMO or fear of missing out on social media is very real for some and I was one of them. This led me to devise a plan that works for me. I work in Social Media so completely getting rid of it was not an option, what I did instead was uninstall the app and only access it twice a day to see messages/posts from other people on weekends and weekdays was a LOT of self control, strolls instead of scrolls. Anyone who wanted to reach out to me could do it via a text or call. Not going to lie, I installed the app 9 times on a few days but then it got better. Lesson, without some random person telling me how a squat made their bum bigger, I am cutting the bum growing and other noise little by little.

Enough of the preaching. I will leave you with this last thought, a patch of personal wilderness is not scary, it is insightful and healthy to build a relationship with your self before seeking from others. So take your small/large bum for a walk, do the wretched squat lady bum squats if you have to (I am clearly fixated on this) but take that time out for yourself. Find your patch and lie there carelessly for your own sake.

Thats all from me! Would love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment if you like, don’t you don’t like but stay happpppppy!

Peace out.

And as always, stay tangled.
xxx